The poem and the declaration.

of independencee. 🙂  [ June 3rd, 2010 ]

Reinventing, and redefining, myself. On a journey that disallows bringing anyone else. You can stand in the distance, and smile on this way. I’ll feel it– I’ll even hear it!.. and wish I could see your face. (me)

Improv, streamline, “top of the head” — poem.

And it all just feels like an alternate reality
and it seems lke the world is falling out from under me
and I wish I could find something that bespeaks familiarity
and I’m hoping and praying for something –
anything.

Can I find a place where we’ve both been to before
and Create my own memories – and build my own world

And can I break away
from the chains that have bound
and When they are broken
Can I find the strength somehow

To get up and to move on
To let go and to dream again
To smile and do so sincerely

To finally realize, this is GODS plan

To pick up all the pieces
and Throw them to the ground
To say, “I really don’t need this..”
Because I’m
free
from
the past

now.

Free.
How lovely it can be.
Free.
A girl can only dream.
Free.
Is that how you’d describe me?
Free.

Can it actually be.

And he is calling me over.
And he is holding my hand.
And he is standing beside me –
despite the mess I’ve been.

And in his eyes, I can tell.
This love is not pretend.
It isn’t forced, it isn’t pity –
it’s sincere, it’s love,
it’s.. him.

And we were made for eachother
and the pain has made this beautiful.
And we were made for eachother
and this heartache has gained me
sevenfold. -AunAqui

**&&

So, those are just some of my thoughts and feelings.
What a crutch this journal has been for me.  😉 
Ah, and just knowing.. I write these little passages, and share these concerns, with an “indefinite” audience..

which — really, most likely, is no one.
There’s a beauty in it..

completely making yourself vulnerable,
sharing the experience that is essentially, uniquely yours –
giving faint shadows of what you’re learning along “the journey”
and.. knowing that all of the passion and content, the words you use and the voice you create –
is real.
That, whether anyone reads this or not..
you’re content,
and you’re happy,
because even if you aren’t really being heard–

you can atleast hope you are, and guess that maybe you have been or will be.

Anyways.
Christopher, my darling; you never leave my mind.
Can it really be that you believe in ME?.. in us?  That despite
anyone or anything, you have faith that God is leading us and that..
you love me?
and you aren’t ashamed of me?
and “forever and always” truly IS your desire?

A dream coming true.
I thought that only happened in fairytales.  🙂 
Oh, it has been said so many times before, and in so many graceful or coarse.. soft or loud.. emotional or dispassionate ways..
but truly.. in my softest voice — in awestruck wonder, and with love, I declare –
I thought that only happened in fairytales.
-AunAqui

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